Showing posts with label malloy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label malloy. Show all posts

Thursday, September 9, 2010

RED PLANET STOWAWAY CH.11 HEADS WILL ROLL




RED PLANET STOWAWAY CH.11 - HEADS WILL ROLL
By Steven Novak

Scattered around you are the bodies of the Martians you’ve just dispatched, their normally gray fresh singed and burnt from the blasts of your laser pistol. The room smells like a barbeque. It smells like day old fried chicken.

It smells oddly delicious.

In ten seconds the Janitor King or the reinforcements for the corpses sprawled at your feet, or possibly both, will undoubtedly come rushing through the door. Your first thought is to use the light transporter that brought you here in the first place to get the hell out. It’s a perfectly reasonable plan. It makes complete sense. Plus it would be easy. It’s also the best chance you have for survival. It’s exactly the kind of plan you would have jumped at fifteen minutes ago.

Too bad this isn’t fifteen minutes ago.

Things have changed dramatically since the former “King” of Mars asked you to come with him and allowed you to log into his data cube. You aren’t the same person that woke up buried beneath Malloy’s underpants just twenty-four hours ago. You aren’t the same confused and fearful schmuck just trying to survive.

Sure, you still don’t fully understand what’s going on, but you think you might have the answers tucked safely into the pouch around your waist. You’re done running and you’re through being scared. If the bodies of the chicken-smelling Martian corpses at your feet prove anything at all, it’s that whoever is about to burst into the room should be scared of you, not the other way around.

Kneeling down, you snag a second pistol from one of the Martian corpses, and then a third from another. You grab a nearby rifle and toss it over your shoulder as well as a few percussion grenades, and a laser-knife – which you slide into the loop on your belt. After arming two of the still smoking pistols you point them at the still-closed door. Let them come and get you. Let them try. It’s about time you stopped searching for answers like an idiot and started trying to make some instead.

It’s time you grew a pair.

What comes next is mostly a blur. A group of Martian reinforcements blasts their way into the room and starts firing. Your body moves even before your mind has time to formulate anything remotely resembling a plan or a maneuver. This is muscle memory at its finest and most dangerous.

In no time at all the room has become a mass of laser beams, wild debris and billowing clouds of grayish black smoke. You’re sliding, and firing, and spinning, all while shooting holes in the chests of the attacking Martians at an astounding rate. One of the Martian guards manages to get close enough to take a swing at you with a four foot long laser-sword. You dodge the wild strike by dropping low and blast a hole in his stomach with one of your pistols.

Your other pistol takes off his head.

You’re moving too fast for the Martians to handle – your shots are too precise. Behind you something explodes. A severed Martian arm smacks you in the back of the head. A fiery torso slides across the bloody floor beside you, spinning like a top and spraying blood in every direction like a sprinkler. You ignore it.

As the Martians begin retreating into the hallway outside the room, you instinctively follow. They aren’t getting off that easily. No one is getting off so easily – not with you – not ever again.

Hoisting the corpse of one of your attackers into the air, you use the Martian’s body as a makeshift shield and continue to press forward. With your free hand you start firing into the crowd of reinforcements crammed into the tight quarters of the hallway. Though it’s difficult to get an accurate count through the smoke and the noise and the explosions, you think there might be thirty of them.

A Martin head explodes like a balloon inflated just a bit too far. A chunk of Martian brain bounces off the side of your ear like a NERF ball soaked in cottage cheese.

Better make that twenty-nine.

It takes you less than ten minutes to dispatch the remaining twenty-nine Martian guards, and the fifteen or so that swarm in afterward. A half an hour after that and you find yourself holed up in a modestly sized room in one of the Martian slums on the outskirts of the colony. You rented the place under a false name and used some Zircons you stole from the uniform of one of the corpses during your firefight.

You’re nibbling on some dinner you purchased on the way over – it's chicken. The gunfight left you very hungry for chicken. Go figure.

With a bit of creative tinkering you manage to connect the data cube the Janitor King gave you to the room’s rather crummy and remarkably simplistic Martian Television set built into the wall. The thing is so old it doesn’t even offer a brain interface – so old you’re surprised it even turned on. There’s absolutely no reason these two things should ever work in conjunction with one another, but making them do exactly that seems almost laughably simple to you all of a sudden.

You chuckle audibly; a lot of things seem simpler these days.

In no way prepared for the sudden jolt of information, the viewing screen of the ancient television begins to hum as the contents of the cube pop onto the monitor. The interface of cube and this antiquated bit of Martian technology isn’t likely to last long, and when the circuits are fried both contraptions will likely be useless.

You only need a few minutes though – five at the most – five measly minutes and you’ll have your answers.

Moments before the firefight you were smart enough to transfer the contents of the NOSSA surveillance cameras to the data cube. You need to finish watching the video you started earlier.

You chuckle to yourself again. In a weird way the Janitor King was right – turns out it does hold the answers to all your questions.

Quickly coding the transmission to the night in question you watch the screen carefully and notice the all too familiar forms of Saleen and Malloy entering quietly into your quarters back on Earth. With a wild static-buzz the camera shifts to the room's interior and follows the pair as they make their way past your couch, into the kitchen, and then through the door leading to your sleeping quarters.

The screen turns to static once again.

The television you’ve interfaced with is starting to overheat. The information is far too large for it to handle. It’s falling apart quicker than you imagined.

It won’t last much longer.

The static on the screen morphs into a twisty distorted image that stretches dramatically, leaving the feet of Saleen and Malloy on one end of the screen and their heads on the other.

With one hand you smack the side of the Television with your palm, “Come on you piece of junk. Hold together for a minute more!” Instantly the image clears.

You can hardly believe what you’re seeing.

Saleen and Malloy look to be standing alongside your bed. Not only that, but you’re standing right beside them – at least the you that’s dressed in black with dark make-up smeared across your face.

Even weirder than that is the fact that there seems to be another you lying sound asleep beneath the covers.

Like shaking a Frisbee loose from a tree, or the act of smacking that last bit of ketchup from the bottom of the jar, the bizarre image knocks loose the confused memories hidden previously within the folds of your brain. Immediately everything comes flooding back.

You’re not you.

You were never you.

Before the television screen overheats and fizzles out with a puff of smoke, you watch as Malloy fires a laser pistol at the you that’s snuggled under the covers with a stupid grin on your face. The blast opens a hole in your chest so large there’s barely a chest remaining when it’s over.

You were the secret weapon all along.

It all makes sense now. It’s all so clear. That’s why Big Boob Bob seemed to feel such a kinship with you. That’s why he was always winking at you and smiling knowingly. That’s why Malloy was so pissed and confused when you escaped. That’s why your memories have felt so disjointed, and uneven, and distant - they aren't even your memories.

You’re not an accountant. You were never an accountant.

They used the likeness of the accountant to get you into NOSSA and onto the transport to Mars.

Lifting your hand to your face you watch as it begins to morph into a shimmering, slimy blob of gelatinous goo. A moment later it transforms yet again into something more closely resembling a Martian hand, and then again into its original form.

You’re not you.

You’re nobody.

You’re a machine that’s gone haywire – an overheated television that’s burnt out.

The plan was for you to assassinate president Womack with the help of Bob, and then the pair of you – and a few others like you – would replace the Martian presidential cabinet and take over rule of the planet.

The plan failed.

They tried to use you. They tried to turn you into something you apparently had no interest in becoming.

No, you’re not you. You’re everybody. You’re anybody you want to be. And you’re going to make them pay.

Less than a week later, back on Earth, Tan’s body washes up in the sewage system underneath NOSSA headquarters. A day afterward Richardson’s laser blast-riddled corpse is discovered in stretched out in his bedroom. Only fourteen hours after that Saleen’s Amazonian-esque body is found stuffed into her modest locker in the NOSSA training center. Quite a few bones were broken and rearranged in order to get her in there, and it takes a day and a half and a laser-cutter to get her out. Only a day afterward, the NOSSA headquarters are burned to the ground. An investigation brings to light the fact that the company was neck deep into illegal experiments with Mutagenic Cell Alteration – which in layman’s terms means you.

A month later Malloy’s body is discovered in seedy hotel down south. He knew you were after him and had been on the run for some time.

While staring down at the corpse the investigating officer pulls the bed sheets covering him away from his body and is taken aback for a minute by what he sees.

He calls over the first officer onto the scene, “Was he like this when you found him?”

“Yep, exactly.”

“What the hell happened to his junk?”

“Dunno…guess someone cut it off.”

THE END.


RETURN TO CHAPTER 1

Monday, August 9, 2010

RED PLANET STOWAWAY CH.7 "TURRIBLE" NEED FOR ENLOMS



RED PLANET STOWAWAY CH. 7 - "TURRIBLE" NEED FOR ENLOMS

By RaShelle Workman


The sight of Malloy sends a stabbing pain to the back of your eyes. You’d like nothing more than to jump on a shuttle and get far, far away, but the saying ‘keep your friends close and your enemies closer’ seems to be appropriate right now. You need to find out what the hell is going on so that you can get back to your exciting life as an accountant. The three stooges are obviously heading in the direction of the bar to get Bob. That gives you a few minutes to assess what you have to work with. So with one throbbing eye on Saleen, Peter Tan and Malloy, you grab your wallet and open it. You’re shocked to discover all that’s in there is your ID and thirty zircons.

What the hell happened to the rest of it?

Frantic, you search the rest of your pockets. There’s a piece of gum, a yellow g-string, two pieces of lint and a bit of what you think is a pretzel. Realizing you have no idea when you last ate, you shrug, toss it into your mouth and start to chew.

“Not a pretzel,” you gag, spitting it out. “How much to the Hilton here in Cydonia?” you ask the holographic media guide. With the edge of your shirt you try to wipe the taste out of your mouth.

You don’t even want to think about what it could have been.

Bee-Boop

“It is 20 enloms to the Hilton Cydonia.”

Bee-Boop

Well that’s four times as much as I have, you think.

Looking around for some cover to follow Malloy, Saleen and Peter Tan, you see a bunch of really tall guys. Trying to remain calm, you realize who they are. It’s Team Earth, the number one basketball team on your world! You remember hearing something about an exhibition game—Earth vs. Mars—some scheduled entertainment during the convention. You’d wanted to get tickets because your favorite players, Charles Barclay, Michael Jardin and Shaquille O’Nell were going to play. And now, as luck would have it, you’re four feet away from them. They appear to be heading in the direction of the bar. Putting the gum in your mouth, you duck behind them.

Peering between the bodies, trying to casually touch one of the players and still remember your life is in danger, you watch out for the three stooges and Bob. They pop out of the bar, two Peter’s arm in arm. A couple of the basketball players take notice of Saleen, whistling and so forth. You think your life is over for a moment because you see the evil grin spread over her face as she starts to walk over. But Malloy stops her.

“No Saleen. We need to find that meddling jerk . . .”

It’s still easy to hear the four of them talk. They’ve stopped in the street. All of the basketball players could have too, if they’d wanted, but they could not care less. A shoe shop has caught the attention of the players. Michael Jardin’s new shoes are on display in the window and the rest of the team is giving him grief about it. You’d love to listen, but instead eavesdrop on Malloy and the others.

“ . . . and big mouth Bob here seems to think we should head to the Hilton, so I guess we’ll start there. Right Bob?”

One of the Peters morphs into Malloy and nods. “That’s what I’m guessing sir and I am the secret weapon. I was programmed to know everything.”

“Shit, I didn’t realize a program could be so cocky, especially since you let Wallace get away,” Saleen yells, smacking him on the back of the head.

Bob morphs into Saleen and says, “I know you have a personal, intimate knowledge of my programmer and you don’t think I can be cocky?” He copies her evil grin and smacks the back of her head.

“I’m gonna kill him. Right after I kill you and if he’s told you so much about me, then he knows I’ll do it, the son-of-a-bitch!”

You watch as Malloy and Peter trip and fumble over themselves trying to keep Saleen off the morphing mutt. You also appear to be spewing bubbles from your mouth. It seems the gum wasn’t gum.

No damn way! What the hell happened the night I hit my head?

You spit out the “gum,” and use your shirt to wipe out your mouth again. Then you turn your attention back to the three stooges and Bob.

“Knock it off Saleen,” yells Malloy, purple-faced. “You may be able to kill the programmer, but we need this mangy secret weapon. Now c’mon, let’s go.”

Malloy, Saleen and Peter Tan start to walk away, but Bob doesn’t move. He morphs into you and gives you a wink. Smiling, he rapidly morphs into Charles Barclay and then Malloy before following after the others.

What the hell?

“Hey, that was me,” Charles Barclay says.

“Was that a Martian?” Michael Jardin asks.

There is a lot of talking, laughing and butt smacking as the basketball players head into the bar. You follow knowing you need money and fast. The team sits down at various tables and you suddenly have a plan. It doesn’t matter that you’ll look like an idiot in front of your favorite players; your life depends on this. Getting down on all fours, you start to search under the tables near them.

Sure enough, within seconds, Charles Barclay says, “Hey, did you lose something?”

Trying not to turn red, you say, “Yeah, I lost my twenty enloms I need for the shuttle.”

Pulling out his wallet, he says, “Oh, that’s turrible. Just turrible. Here’s a hundred. You’d better hurry.”

“Oh, really. I cou—”

“Just take it and hurry,” he says

“Thanks Charles. Good luck on the game,” you say, running like mad to catch the three stooges and Bob.

You see Malloy get on a shuttle car. You climb on the one behind them, making it right before the doors close. Watching for them, you buy a ticket that’ll take you to the Hilton and a Team Earth hat and then have a seat. While staring at the backs of Malloy, Saleen, Tan and Bob’s heads, you think about what Bob did. Was he trying to tell you something? Was he still drunk enough to be helpful to you?

Then you remember something so important that you’re shocked to realize Bob may have been trying to tell you something. President Manuel Womack’s daughter is married to Charles Barclay. Was that the where and when the assassination was going to happen? At the game.

Pushing a button on your left arm rest, an invisible drawer opens in front of you. Inside are two tiny sensory buds to be used for complimentary movies, music, local news and international news. You place one below each of your earlobes. Immediately a holographic image pops up. Using your mind, you scan the news until you find information about the game. Your mind tells it that’s the information you’re interested in and the volume comes up. It takes thirty seconds to find out the game is tomorrow and where it’ll be.

Next you look for the map of the shuttle service and find out that the game will be held at the Genesis Convention Center. It was built for this game—in honor of the peace treaty between Earth and Mars. The stop for the GCC is two before the Hilton.

After that, you check the Entertainment news and see if it’s possible to find out where the basketball players are staying. Bingo, they’re staying at the Plaza. At least that’s what the Gazareos Star says. That’s one stop before the Hilton.

You have a choice to make.


Do You...

A. Continue to the Hilton and see what Malloy, Saleen and Peter Tan have planned?

B. Get off at the Genesis Convention Center. Getting there before they do may give you an edge?

C. Get off at the plaza and try to hang with the basketball players?

Monday, July 26, 2010

RED PLANET STOWAWAY CH.5 WALLACE, THE ASSASSIN




RED PLANET STOWAWAY CHAPTER 5 - WALLACE, THE ASSASSIN

By Tomara Armstrong

Saleen moves in slow motion toward the door; her long stride and gangly arms cut through the atmosphere like knives. You grab the bill of your cap and pull it down low on your brow, broaden your shoulders, and step into the shadows as Saleen opens the door.

“Captain,” she greets Malloy. “Feeling better?”

“Yes! I just heard on the radio… that ASSHOLE who damaged my goods is floating in the septic pool. Marinating… until someone is willing to fish the SLIME out.”

You see Malloy smile, probably for the first time ever, as he plops down on the leather sofa in the middle of the room. “Ugh,” he grunts; he then grimaces and rubs his junk.

You close your eyes and try not to laugh, but your shuffling feet draws Malloy’s gaze.

“There you are,” Malloy grunts. You give him an exaggerated nod. “What are you doing here? You’re supposed to be on the transport headed to Cydonia!”

You look at Saleen. She shakes her head,.“The conference starts in a few days, and the world’s leaders should have already started checking in.”

You wipe your hands on your pants, nod, and begin to make your way to the door.

“Hold it!” Malloy demands. You freeze, staring at the door a mere five feet away. With a deep breath, you pull your cap down lower and spin around to face the captain. “Good luck, soldier.” You nod, swing around equally fast and practically sprint out the door.

As you tunnel through the labyrinth of halls and corridors, you see a couple of people dressed in the same uniform you have recently acquired. “Hey,” you say to them. “I… uh… was assaulted by that intruder… was knocked out... I can’t remember how to get to the transport.”

They point to the right and you take off down the corridor, following the bend. There are three transport cradles, but only one pod door is open. As you close in on it, the scanner reads Cydonia.

You step into your transport pod and red lights are flashing. You push the large green button to signal you’re present and ready for take-off with five minutes to spare. You stare at the lights and whirling gizmos of the control panel and try to absorb all of the information you’ve just been given.

You are apparently on your way to Cydonia to assassinate some world leader, and you have no idea who it is. You can’t even fly a transport. You start to laugh and shake your head, “Me, an assassin.”

“Pretty funny, huh?”

You jump as you notice a man that resembles your Uncle Ernie buckled into a seat in your pod. He’s eating potato chips and has a trail of crumbs and grease down the front of his grey sweatshirt. “Uh,” you fumble.

“Yeah you don’t look like an assassin to me either.” He tips the yellow bag on its side and pours the remnants of greasy potatoes into his mouth. “But that’s ok… we can help each other out,” he crunches.

You continue to stare at him as he dusts his hands off on his sweatshirt and extends one toward you. “I’m Bob.”

You take his salty hand, “Hi, Bob. I’m…. I’m …” You’re trying to remember who you’re pretending to be, but you’re drawing a blank.

“Wallace, I know… The assassin.” He digs in the bag beside him on the floor. The doors lock, and the pod lights begin flashing again.

“So I’m the assassin. You are… the pilot?”

“Nope.” He pops the cap on a Diet Coke and takes a long swig. “Auto pilot. You should buckle up.”

“Oh.” You sit down and strap yourself into the seat next to Bob, still wondering about his role in this mission. You watch as he digs around in his bag.

“I’m the secret weapon,” he says as he continues to dig.

“Come again?”

He turns and looks at you with a seriousness you hadn’t noticed before. There’s a flicker in his eyes and the corner of his mouth twitches. “I’m… the secret weapon,” he says.

Bob smiles as his face melts into an unrecognizable blob. His body shifts, twists, and turns, settling into the lovely form of Saleen; dark eyes, big hands, and all. She winks at you and quickly molds back into regular old Bob. “Oh,” you mouth as Bob returns to his bag on the floor.

“Parcheesi?” He produces a board game and sets it up between the two of you. “We have about half an hour until we land on Mars’ surface. I’m blue… you?”

“Uh… green.”

Bob is very good at this game, and in the 25 minutes you have been in the pod, he is one roll away from winning the whole thing.

“Bob, is there a plan? I have a bit of a head injury… it’s coming back to me… slowly,” you lie.

Bob laughs. “We should be docking at Cydonia Mensae soon. We have a room booked at the Hilton, but we will have to take a shuttle into the city from the dock.”

You nod and consider your possibilities of escape. You are no assassin, so that option is definitely out . . . but what about Bob? How can you ditch this guy? If you ditch him, will he go and finish the job?

You don’t get the chance to think about it too long; the pod begins to slow and bumps to a stop. The hatch opens and the cab lights begin to blink red, signaling your arrival. “Welcome… to Mars,” a female voice booms over the loudspeaker, “Remember dock number 4-5-3-7-1 Cydonia Mensae. Grab a drink at… the Terminal, get your Martian souvenirs at… The Hot Spot… Refuel at…. The --”

“Let’s go,” Bob pushes past with his bag over his shoulder, “I need a drink.”

“Me too.”

“First I need to take a leak.” Bob heads toward the men’s room. “I’ll be right back.”

You look around the dock, trying to come up with a plan.

Will you...

Friday, July 23, 2010

RED PLANET STOWAWAY CH.4 MAKE UP AN EXCUSE TO USE THE BATHROOM





RED PLANET STOWAWAY CH.4 - MAKE UP AN EXCUSE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM

By MJ Heiser

Looking into Malloy's face again was not something you wanted to do right now. Despite the fact that this time he would be clothed (and you would therefore be saved the sight of his naked nastiness), there's little doubt he will recognize you, and having both him and Saleen the Overwhelming Amazon united against you wasn't a pleasant thought.

"I -- I have to go," you stammer. You clap your hands over your stomach and work hard at making your face turn green and queasy.

"What?" Saleen asks.

You don't give her even a second to object. The security system beeps, giving Malloy clearance to enter Saleen's quarters. You scramble in your best impression of a diarrhea-addled duck walk towards the bathroom. You let the door whisper shut behind you, and let out the breath that had been growing stale in your lungs.

From the main chamber of the living quarters, you hear Malloy's entrance.

"Saleen."

"Malloy."

"I thought I heard another voice."

"Er . . .yes. In the bathroom."

"Ah."

"Is everything ready?"

"Of course. Our spies are set."

"Their disguises and credentials are immaculate."

"A little self-praise, Saleen?"

"Perhaps."

You realize you've put yourself in the unique position to get to the bottom of this mystery. You almost wish you could see them as they talked and conspired about offing someone important.

"It's deserved, I suppose. So, what about the person in your bathroom?"

Uh oh.

"I checked the security clearance. There was no native error."

"Did you check your own intuition?"

"What are you implying, Malloy?"

"Saleen, my trip to the infirmary was due to sabotage. I have a General Alert issued for the person responsible."

Saleen doesn't sound impressed. "Unless you waited until five minutes ago to issue the General Alert, the security clearance would have caught it."

Malloy's voice takes on the measured tones of someone speaking to a mental deficient. "I. Was. In. The. Infirmary."

Damn it.

Several seconds tick by in pure silence, and once again, you forget to breathe. You wonder what's going on out there. Are they typing communications into their wrist sets? Are they creeping up on the door to the bathroom, laser pistols drawn? Or maybe -- please -- have they shrugged it off and decided they should just sit down and watch some 5D space tube?

"Hey in there," booms Malloy's voice from the other side of the bathroom door.

Nope, not watching space tube.

"Hey," you say, trying to bury your voice in a groan of defecatory effort.

"You've been in there a long time, friend," he growls. You can tell he's trying to be playful. The thought of Malloy being playful is as ludicrous as the thought of a slug being swift.

"Oh, yeah," you say, deciding to play this to the hilt. No telling what madness drives you to whip down your pants and sit on the can. "I'm sure it was the cafeteria grub today."

"I think you should open this door so I can, you know, check you out, make sure you're okay."

"No, no, I'll be fine -- you two should just go on." --With your devious plan for assassination.

"I don't think so. Either open the door or I'm going to blast it in."

"Wait, wait!" you stammer, only now realizing just how bad an idea it was to pull your pants down. You rise to your feet and try to pull them up, but your hands are trembling too badly to get a good grip.

"Three . . .two . . ."

"Hold on a sec!" you grunt.

"One!" Malloy crows triumphantly, and with a loud laser shriek, the mechanism keeping the bathroom door locked becomes simply inoperable. The door is wrenched open, and soon Malloy fills the space with his considerable -- but fortunately, clothed -- bulk.

He arches an eyebrow at you. You're standing in front of the toilet with your pants around your ankles. The security shirt Saleen had given you doesn't cover you anywhere near enough. "Well hello, sweetheart," he says, gazing fondly at the place south of your navel before bringing his gun to level with your face.

Your last thought is: Huh. I die with Malloy staring at MY junk.

THE END


Monday, July 19, 2010

RED PLANET STOWAWAY CH.4 THE STOWAWAY'S NEW CLOTHES



Red Planet Stowaway CH.4 - The Stowaway’s New Clothes

By Nina Bau

The guard, sputtering, cussing, and flailing, tries his best to escape the poop soup, but the harder he fights, the deeper he sinks. With a final growl and declaration that your mother should be violated in multiple orifices, he succumbs to his fecal fate.

Before you can say, “Neener, neener, neener,” the approaching footsteps stop right outside the door. There’s no way you can make it to the service hatch in time and hiding in poop is out of the question. You decide to call on your limited acting experience – playing a doomed turkey in a 3rd grade Thanksgiving play – and hope for the best.

The door opens and the dark-skinned woman from earlier enters.

“I thought I heard something. What are you doing in here?”

She’s tall and athletic, damn near Amazonian. Her dark brown eyes flash no nonsense and you have no doubt that if you don’t tread carefully, you’ll find yourself taking your own diarrhea dive.

“I… um… was... on patrol. Thought I heard something, too.”

“What happened to your uniform?” she asks.

You look down at your ensemble and realize that your black boots and dark slacks are almost identical to the guard’s uniform, except you should be wearing a regulation NOSSA patrol shirt over your white t-shirt.

“I got poop on the shirt? Had to toss it?”

“Are you asking me or telling me?”

She eyes you up and down. You feel a pool of sweat gather on your upper lip.

“Telling. Definitely. That’s what happened.”

She eyes you a moment longer before sighing and throwing up her man-sized hands in disgust.

“This is unbelievable. First, Richardson gets called upstairs for an emergency, then I find Malloy naked and knocked out in the locker room. I had to slip the guards 40 Zircons just to get them to agree to carry his hairy ass to the infirmary - and now this. I thought Malloy ran a ship locked tighter than a virgin’s knees on prom night. He vouched for you – said that in a command full of alien-lovers, you were one of the few that could be trusted. You don’t want this peace treaty signed anymore than we do, right?”

You simply nod.

“Good. Follow me. We’ll get you another shirt and prepare your credentials.”

You follow her back into the corridor and the locker room. She rummages through several lockers before finding what she’s looking for. Tossing you a security shirt and cap she instructs, “Put this on. Let’s go.”

You do as you’re told, following her back into the corridor and up the metal ladder you noticed when making your Malloy escape. It leads to the upper level living quarters. You approach a door and watch as she presses her hand against an identification scanner. A red light travels up and down her hand before turning green. The door slides open with a hiss.

When you’re both inside, she turns to you.

“I’m sure Malloy went over everything, but you look like the type that needs reiteration. No offense.”

“None taken.”

In truth, she could insult your intelligence, hygiene, and sexual aptitude – you just need to buy some time, find out what was going on, and hopefully escape with your life. From the little you’ve gathered it seems Malloy was a part of a conspiracy to sabotage the peace treaty between Earth and the aliens. This alliance means a great deal to your planet. The aliens are light years ahead in medicine, technology, and renewable energy. But there were plenty of humans who did not trust the aliens and would rather the planet go up in flames than align with them.

“It’s important that the assassination look as if it were at the hands of their supreme leader. There’s no way the International Council will agree to an alliance if the aliens are responsible for the death of someone as important as…”

Before she can finish, there’s a knock at the door.

“Saleen? You in there?”

You’d recognize that voice anywhere.

Malloy!

You’re more annoyed that he interrupted the mysterious Saleen before you could get the details on their sinister plans than you are afraid of Malloy. One kick to the twig and berries and he went down like an intergalactic hooker on a pleasure ship.

“Keep your pants on, Malloy. That is, if you’re wearing any. I’m coming.”

Saleen heads for the door. She’ll reach it in ten seconds and open it faster than that. You have to decide what to do next before she does.

A. Make up an excuse to go to the bathroom before she opens the door, and hope to stay in there long enough for Malloy to leave?

B. Let Saleen open the door and confront them both, threatening to turn them over to the G.B.I. (Galactic Bureau of Investigation)?

C. Let Saleen open the door and hope that Malloy doesn't recognize you in your spiffy new guard uniform, hoping to play it off like you're a part of the plan?

Saturday, July 17, 2010

RED PLANET STOWAWAY CH.3 USE THE LADDER




OPTION B - WHAT YOU DIDN'T CHOOSE - USE THE LADDER TO THE SERVICE HATCH

By Tomara Armstrong

As an accountant for NOSSA, you aren’t the sharpest with a firearm, but you have watched plenty of television. You know you must first flip the safety on before shoving the barrel into your pants. You shove a little farther than is comfortable, to ensure zero slippage while scaling the ladder up to the service hatch.

The rungs are a bit sticky, sending a wave of nausea over you. You can’t help but notice the air is thicker above the lake of waste, and attempt to hold your breath as you continue to ascend.

At the top of the ladder, you wiggle the latch and slowly push the door open a crack. The room above is fairly large, and appears to be empty. Feeling safe to proceed, you flip the door open and climb through the hatch.

You carefully lower the hatch door and lock it. When you turn around, you’re surprised to see two small children dressed in school uniforms standing side by side. They are studying you, tilting their heads. “I see you,” they say in unison.

You back away slowly, trying not to trip over your feet. There is something strange about these kids, but you just can’t put your finger on it.

“Do you want to play with me?”

As they move closer to you, their faces ripple and pulse; their eyes flicker. You continue to step backwards as they move toward you. “I’m kind of busy right now.”

“Do you not like me?”

“Um… “ You scan the room looking for a quick out. “I’m sure you’re great kids and all, but I really must be going.”

“I’m not a kid.”

You watch as the children meld together into a revolting blob and quickly ooze into the form of your naked friend, Captain Harper Malloy.

“Crap!” You should have known it was a shape shifter. All those weeks of taking Possible Threats and Extermination in Academy could have really paid off… if you hadn’t slept through the class. Way to go, you.

Though you are disgusted, you are also surprised at how the shape shifter mimics Malloy’s dangling bits with complete accuracy.

“Is this better?” he asks.

“Not at all.” You frown.

Irritation sweeps over the face in front of you, and the shape shifter quickly changes into a topless cheerleader holding pom-poms. “Better?”

“Not really.” You shrug, eyeing her breasts. “Obviously not real… they could be bigger.”

Her head begins to smoke, and the shape shifter begins to flip through different objects trying to impress you; man, beast, and monster.

You remember the gun delicately wedged between your butt cheeks, and attempt to dig it out without drawing attention.

“Surely you are impressed now,” the shape shifter asks as it takes on the shape of a towering dragon with flashing orange and blue scales. Its gaze is drawn to the pistol you are holding out in front of you.

You shake your head, irritated, and unlock the safety. “Why are you even here?”

“Silly human,“ it says, laughing at you.

The laughing strikes a nerve and you fire a blast from your pistol. It clips the wing of the shape shifter’s current form.

“I AM THE SECRET WEAPON!” he booms.

You are so impressed, you wet your pants. Your hands are shaking and the pistol is growing heavier; it falls to the floor and fires again, ricocheting off the metal in the room and braising your ear.

You clutch your misshapen head and fall to the floor. Tears and snot slide down your face as the dragon hovers over you, his steamy breath pushing your hair into and out of your face.

He waits for you to stop crying, to look him in the eye, but you don’t allow him that. You sit and cry in the puddle you’ve created.

As he descends upon you, you will your body to be tough and gristly. You vow, as the dragon wraps his slick lips around you and swallows you whole, to be the greatest cause of indigestion this shape shifter has ever experienced.

*Burrrpp*

THE END

Oops...RETURN TO CHAPTER 3


Saturday, July 10, 2010

RED PLANET STOWAWAY CH.2 SEARCH THE MACHINE ROOM




RED PLANET STOWWAY CH.2 - SEARCH THE MACHINE ROOM FOR A WEAPON

By RaShelle Workman


You decide to head in the direction of the chugging noises.

Where there’s a machine there’s a weapon, right? you try to convince yourself.

There’s a big sign on the door from which the obnoxiously loud sounds are coming. It’s a depiction of a human inside a red circle with a big, red line going through it. Across the top, in bold, it reads: AUTHORIZED PERSONNEL ONLY.

“Wouldn’t you know it, I just became authorized,” you tell the sign as you pull on the handle.

The door opens with a hiss, and smoky vapors leak into the hallway.

“Oh hell,” you say, quickly closing the door behind you. It’s dark and loud – so loud you think your head will split in two at any moment. Putting both hands over your ears, you try to keep it together.

“Aww,” you scream, frustrated. There’s no turning back now though. Malloy is surely only seconds behind you. Using both hands, you feel along the walls on either side of the door to search for a light switch.

“Bingo.” You flip it on. The room is large and lit with strange orange lights.

It sounds like a bunch of people are running. Even over the noise, you hear shouting. “Hurry. Go! Go! Go!”

A herd of elephants, you think, shaking your head.

Heading down the first aisle, you start looking for anything to use as a weapon. You need one. Fast!

Machines of all shapes and sizes are everywhere. You have no idea what any of them do. Being an accountant, the types of machines you use involve adding and subtracting, the occasional search of an online website or the press of a button

You run up and down aisle after aisle, searching between the machines. Above them. Underneath them.

Nothing.

You run down an aisle that has a lot of knobs and buttons against walls of computers on either side. Blues, greens and reds are lit up all over the consoles. You don‘t stop, even though you‘re starting to get a little light-headed. There is nothing here that‘ll be of use.

“Damn,” you think, turning left and left again, slamming into something. “What the –?”

Taking a step back so you can get your bearings, you realize you’ve run into some sort of robot. You’ve also noticed your head is heavy. The thing is typing away on a keyboard. It turns and looks at you. “No. Humans. Allowed. You. Are. Not. Authorized.” Its yellow eyes look at you and back at the computer screen. It’s still typing away.

“Hey R2, you wouldn’t happen to have a weapon I could borrow, would ya?” You can’t help letting out a giggle. What the crap?

The robot is about your height, maybe taller. It has a rectangle head and a round body. The neck, arms and legs look to be made out of metal pipes. The thing looks like something you could have built in junior high shop class. It also seems to be getting wider and thinner; taller and shorter. Suddenly there are fifty more of them just like it. You figure you must be hallucinating, but can’t seem to care.

Smacking it in the head, you say, “Hey Roboturd? A weapon—mind if I use your arm?” Wobbling, you reach out to grab it.

“You. Are. Unauthorized,” the robot says, facing you.

It grabs you under the arms and lifts you into the air. Feet dangling, you start laughing and stick your hands in the air. “Weeee,” you yell, unable to help yourself. Inside you‘re scared to death and wonder where it‘s taking you.

You hear a whoosh and some doors slide open. The robot drops you into a container with grates along the bottom. One of your legs falls through as well as some ashy looking substance.

The robot looks down at you, its yellow eyes glowing, and says, “As. My. Favorite. Group. The. Coasters. Like. To. Sing: Take Out. The. Papers. And. The. Trash.”

It waves and there’s a whoosh as a set of big metal doors closes above you.

You wave back and chuckle because you can’t help it. Whatever was or wasn’t in the air has affected your brain beyond your control. Even Malloy and his nasty junk seem kinda funny right now. You realize Malloy must have set off an alarm. Those who worked in the machine room left so that they could put something in the air to cause your hallucinations. You can’t help but wonder what or who picked you up and carried you over to the container. Maybe Malloy in a space suit? You’ll never know because an extreme heat starts to rise. You look down. Massive flames are seconds away from incinerating you.

Before screaming, you think, Yackety yak, don’t talk back.

THE END




Oops...RETURN TO CHAPTER 2